Addressing Grief: Finding New Paths Toward Healing

Grief can feel like an endless storm that is unpredictable and isolating. There is not one right way to move through it, but there are ways to find steady ground. Many people turn to familiar tools: talking with friends, giving themselves time, or reaching out for professional counseling. These remain vital. Yet creative, personal outlets can also be powerful ways of addressing grief.

Here are five meaningful ways to begin working through loss and rediscovering connection in your own time.

Write a Goodbye Letter

Sometimes we don’t get the chance to say goodbye, and that lack of closure can keep us tethered to the pain. Writing a letter to the person you lost lets you express what you never got to say. Tell them about the memories that keep resurfacing, what you’re grateful for, or even what still feels unresolved.

It doesn’t have to be formal or perfect. Let your words flow without editing or judgment. The act of writing helps release the thoughts swirling inside your heal. Many hospice and grief programs across New Hampshire and Vermont encourage journaling or letter-writing as part of processing loss because it can help bridge the space between holding on and letting go.

Connect with Others Who Understand

Grief can make you feel like you’re speaking a language no one else knows. Finding a group where others understand that language can ease the loneliness.

Across New Hampshire and Vermont, groups such as The Center for Grieving Children in Portsmouth and Central Vermont Home Health & Hospice in Barre offer ongoing addressing grief support sessions. These safe, welcoming spaces are open to anyone who has lost a loved one.

Another option is attending a Death Café, an informal gathering where people talk openly about loss, mortality, and meaning. They take place in communities like Keene and Concord in New Hampshire and Burlington and Montpelier in Vermont. You can share your story, or simply listen. Either way, you’ll leave feeling less alone and more connected.

Create a Healing Playlist

Music reaches places that words can’t. It can calm your nerves, release tears you’ve been holding back, or remind you of moments that mattered most.

Build a playlist filled with songs that hold meaning for you or your loved one. Some people choose their person’s favorite music; others pick songs that reflect how they feel right now. There’s no formula, only feeling. Play it on quiet nights or during walks when memories come uninvited. Music offers a simple, private way of addressing grief that doesn’t require explanation or planning, only listening.

Spend Time Alone with Your Thoughts

Addressing grief demands stillness, but modern life doesn’t often allow it. Try setting aside a small window of time each day, even 10 minutes, to sit quietly with your thoughts. You might light a candle, step outside, or visit a place that holds meaning.

Ask yourself gentle questions: How am I feeling right now? What do I need today? What would comfort me if I let it? You don’t have to find answers immediately. The goal is simply to notice what’s happening inside you, without pushing it away.

Hospice and bereavement counselors across the region often suggest mindfulness and breathing exercises as practical ways of staying grounded when the emotions feel too large.

Talk to the One You’re Missing

You can still talk to the person you’ve lost. Say their name out loud. Share a memory. Tell them what’s been happening since they’ve been gone. These conversations can happen anywhere — while driving, walking, or sitting by a photograph.

Many people find comfort in imagining what their loved one might say in return. You know their voice, their humor, their perspective. That part of them lives within you. Talking to them can help you feel closer and can soften the sharpness of loss.

Where to Find Support in New Hampshire and Vermont

Addressing grief can feel too heavy to carry alone. There are many organizations in our region that can help:

• Phaneuf Funeral Homes & Crematorium offers ongoing bereavement resources and referrals to local support groups throughout New Hampshire and Vermont.
• Dartmouth Health Bereavement Support provides virtual and in-person groups for adults and families coping with loss.
• The Compassionate Friends of New Hampshire and Vermont supports parents and siblings grieving the loss of a child.
• Central Vermont Home Health&Hospice hosts “Surviving the Loss” programs throughout the year.
• Home Care, Hospice & Palliative Care Alliance of New Hampshire maintains an updated list of grief services statewide.

Addressing Grief: A Personal Path Forward

Addressing grief is not about “getting over” your loss. It is about finding ways to live with it, to honor what you’ve lost while caring for what remains. Your healing might begin with a letter, a song, a conversation, or a quiet moment alone. Whatever form it takes, give yourself permission to grieve in your own way.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, our staff at Phaneuf can connect you with local resources, support groups, and counselors throughout New Hampshire and Vermont. You are not alone, and help is always close by.